More powerful than the bully

Tia and Leo’s artwork

Tia was a 13-year-old girl and Leo an 8-year-old boy. Both had autism and came together once a week for art therapy. Their relationship had come a long way in that they were able to work together on the same piece of paper in their own distinctive styles which was not the case when they first began. Eventually, they completed each others' work, crossed boundaries that were at first rigid and guarded, exchanging comments and sharing stories.

Slowly the dynamics of this little art therapy dyad managed to open up the fiercely protected emotional world of Tia and Leo whose artwork began to shift from the literal to the metaphorical. Individuals with ASD find it difficult to express emotions due to the abstract nature of feelings. Masters of literal representation, when it comes to symbolic expression, they can be extremely challenged.

In one particular session, both Tia and Leo were given a directive to draw each other. The goal was to encourage thinking about the other, beyond the self. After they completed their artwork, both children were asked to talk about their images. The conversation led to individual likes and dislikes and Tia shared that she hated was being bullied in school. She explained that she was pushed around by boys in her class who called her 'lazy'. Spurred on by Tia's sharing, Leo, who was usually very defensive and emotionally reserved, declared that he too disliked being bullied in school and spoke about his experiences. 

The above disclosure from both children led to the golden opportunity to express and address a fear-inducing occurrence in their lives. At times even though circumstances may not change, our perception of the circumstances, how we internalise and assimilate them in our memories can change. Hence, Tia and Leo were asked to draw the bullies, giving them a tangible form within the safety of the art therapy room. Both children made images of their respective bullies (see figure) and were then asked to contain the bullies within boundaries. The idea was to literally and symbolically imprison the bullies within the boundaries and take away their power. As the image shows, Tia and Leo drew substantial walls around their bullies, pointing out to each other where the walls needed reinforcement. 

The session was a wonderful illustration of how joint art therapy sessions encourage open sharing and mutual support between children. The artwork acts as a buffer to process difficult and threatening emotional content while the therapist provides the containment and direction required for transformation and growth. 

Channelising aggression in children through art

Aggression in children is usually a symptom of underlying issues that find external expression in inappropriate verbal and/or physical behaviour. The traditional course of treatment for anger management in children is behaviour modification and in extreme cases medication. These approaches have their merits and can help in averting disastrous consequences for the child and their family. However, focusing on behavioural techniques in isolation may inadvertently conceal the psycho-emotional problems that are at the root of the behaviours and may be a call for help from the child, rather than a deliberate attempt to cause harm.

Children lack the ability for metacognition or the capacity to think about their thoughts. Simply put, they may have no clue as to why they may be acting out, transgressing limits, pushing buttons and indulging in inappropriate behaviors. Some of the underlying reasons may be related to : attachment issues, familial problems, stress related to school and peers, learning differences and developmental challenges. Thus, it may be unreasonable to expect external compliance from a child who may be suffering emotionally, without addressing the internal aspect of the matter.

Art therapy is most efficacious when it comes to addressing psycho-emotional problems in children as it has the capacity to tap into the hidden content of a child’s psyche that may not be accessible through words. Art making can by pass defence mechanisms that prevent access to deep-seated conflicts.

Very importantly, art therapists work through metaphors in the child’s artwork thus, if some trauma or difficult emotional content surfaces through art making, it can be processed in a safe and non-confrontational way. Art therapy is a safe therapeutic intervention as it avoids re-traumatization from exposure to difficult memories.

A 5-year-old’s expression of her trauma

Art therapists are also trained to direct negative emotions into creative acts through prudent use of art material. Clay may be pounded or kneaded, scratched and poked in order to express anger or frustration just as paint may be splashed or paper torn and crushed to channelize aggressive affect into appropriate expression.

Art making, whether in the form of seemingly random scribbles and doodles or skilful images and sculptures is an expression of the unconscious. Thus, to partake of art therapy absolutely no skill in art making is necessary. In fact I have come across children who do not show any inclination to draw or paint yet can be tempted to engage in acts of creation that lead to inner expression.

A child cannot convey with words what they are not aware of; and some children may not have the ability to speak. You will be amazed to find what can be achieved through the simplest forms of creativity and relational art making with an art therapist.

Why art therapy works well for children

I am continuously amazed by the raw authenticity of children’s artwork. Compared to adults, creative expression comes naturally to children for communicating deep emotional content that they may not be able to put into words. After all, how many kids do you know who can articulate the underlying reasons for their difficult behaviors? However, the process of art making, under the guidance of an art therapist, is a highly effective way of accessing information that may be troubling the child. The art therapist is able to do that by  using suitable art materials and providing directives.

Moreover, art therapy is a gentle and non-confrontational way of addressing difficult emotions that may be related to family, school, self-image, trauma, loss and so on. The art therapist can work through metaphors or symbols in the artwork without tackling the problem directly. For instance, a child who is being bullied at school may be able to work through the issue by sculpting the bully as an animal or an object rather than talking about the fear inducing reality. Similarly another child who may be experiencing divorce between parents can express feelings by drawing a landscape that is indicative of the difficult circumstances at home.

5- year-old boy processing his parent's divorce through his drawing

As a result, most children like coming for art therapy as it provides them relief through fun based activities. Parents like the approach because it is a safe and effective way of tackling difficult situations/emotions and finding workable solutions without the burden of having to drag the child to therapy.

How art therapy can help teenagers

Challenging behaviors in adolescents and teenagers are often symptomatic of underlying stress related to academic pressure, exposure to and overuse of social media and technology, peer pressure, and relationship problems. These stressors can result in low self-esteem, difficulty with self-regulation, depression, anxiety, addiction, self-harm and so on. To address the aforementioned issues, a therapeutic intervention should focus on:

Teaching self-regulation

Improving distress tolerance

Identifying and restructuring dysfunctional patterns of thinking

Addressing underlying emotions

Promoting insight and reflection

Facilitating transformation and resolution

Art therapy can target each of the above areas in a non-confrontational, non-threatening way where the artwork acts as a buffer as well as a container of difficult emotional content that may not be accessible to words. Art materials  can facilitate emotional regulation through inherent qualities that can evoke or modulate affect. For instance, paint is a fluid and evocative medium that can cause arousal  as well as tap into deep emotional content. On the other hand, clay is earthy and malleable, and can be calming and grounding. Therefore, engaging with art materials helps channelize highly charged emotional content into the process of art making and more often than not result in an end product that also acts as a record of progression.

 The process of art making is as important as the art product in promoting insight into cognitive patterns of thinking that may require restructuring and re-contextualising. The art product is reflected upon to reveal these patterns as well as other emotional issues that may be contributing to feelings of distress and unhappiness. The art therapist facilitates the development of the artmaking process and product to aid transformation and a positive outcome.

 Art therapy works especially well for resistant teenagers who may not be open or do not respond to traditional forms of therapy. It is a softer yet powerful approach that can tap deep into the unconscious which manifests through creative expression. The art making process provides relief and the art product tangible evidence of underlying emotional content that aids insight and resolution.

Liminal space: reframing the narrative

No matter how hard one tries nowadays, conversation ends up revolving around the topic of Covid-19.  Consciously or sub-consciously most of us are incessantly keeping a close watch on the number of virus cases, hoping that statistics will predict the direction our lives might take this year.  The current pandemic has unleashed collective trauma on most of the world, the latter described as a “calamitous emotional rupture in our sense of self-identity and community, disconnecting us from the ways of thinking, speaking, acting, and relating through which we previously made sense of the world” (Watkins and Shulman, 2008, p. 106). 

 All individuals react differently to traumatic events, some are able to withstand the psychological effects better than others who may develop symptoms such as dissociation, numbness, hyper-arousal, hyper-vigilance, difficulty concentrating, recurring nightmares, intrusive thoughts amongst others. The reality is, that wherever one is placed on the spectrum of the aftermath of trauma, events such as we are currently experiencing are bound to affect us all; chances are (excuse the hyperbole) that no one is going to escape entirely unscathed. Metaphorically, all our boats have been rocked to some degree whether due to loss, burnout, isolation, disrupted plans, economic fallout, existential crisis, or something else.

 Hard as it may be to believe, there is a silver lining to all the havoc. For precisely when the boat is rocked, growth and transformation can happen. In fact, Watkins & Shulman (2008) posit that “Most major life transformations for individuals begin with a spontaneous yet still manageable rupture, a shocking break in routine…One may be thrust into a radical space of pilgrimage, a searching of meaning and orientation from a location “betwixt and between” seemingly stable states” (p. 134). The ‘betwixt and between’ that the authors refer to are also known as the liminal space which carries the possibility of metamorphosis (yet another metaphor), provided we allow ourselves the space and time to reflect, synthesize and reframe the trauma. It is from this liminal space that the boat that was rocked, can find an undiscovered anchor or move towards a novel landing.

The cultivation of liminal spaces can be done by mental health/wellness professionals, social workers, community leaders, elders within families, community centers, spaces for healing, arts and crafts. These spaces need to be containers of safety where facilitators hold and protect members of the community without controlling or intruding (Watkins & Shulman, 2008), meaning they allow the witnessing and validation of the event/s that need to be processed. Watkins and Shulman (2008) especially emphasize the power of rituals that lead to acceptance and new kind of understanding, where individuals are allowed to feel vulnerable without having to renormalize or ‘get over things’. Denial of traumatic experiences can give rise negative patterns of behavior and affect emotional well-being. Unresolved trauma may result symptoms such as: rigidity, aggression, irritability, issues with self-regulation and relationship problems amongst others.

 It is heartening to see that during the current environment with social distancing measures in place, how members of the community are connecting with each other as best as they can, through online sources. Professionals have reached out offering opportunities for group activities for exercise, meditation, counselling and so on. More than ever, families and friends are using social platforms to connect and support each other sharing recipes, videos, jokes and so much more. For instance, one of my cousins has taken the initiative of arranging Zoom meetings with our common relatives spanning the globe. At one time we may have as many as 15 plus cousins, aunts and uncles trying to talk over each other, reminiscent of in-person family gatherings. The mostly lighthearted banter, sprinkled with occasional sober exchanges affords “the restitution of a sense of a meaningful world” (Herman, 1997). 

 It seems Covid-19 has given rise to never before conceived of rituals, ways of connecting and supporting each other. We must continue to build meaningful paths to rebuild our sense of order and reclaim our world. Let us cultivate the liminal spaces that are windows of opportunity for growth and transformation…the boat will stop rocking at some point.

Herman, J. (1997). Trauma and Recovery. New York: NY: Basic Books.

The paradox in raising a child with special needs

Mo bought a pair of sunglasses yesterday and he is loving his new look. I can tell they make him feel all grown up and super cool. Today, when his dad and I accompanied him on the bus, in order to familiarize him with the new route he has to take for his social skills group, Mo sat behind me, sunglasses and all, smiling broadly. Then, I heard him break into a song and suddenly my antennas went up. Who was he sitting next to? Would they think he was strange singing to himself? Would they judge or label him and so on and so forth? At once I turned around and whispered to Mo “you don’t sing in the bus” and the very next moment I chided myself silently “You’ve done it again Huma! So what if Mo is singing? So what if this is not the norm? Mo is happy, let him be, this is who he is. If the guy next to him finds him strange then that is his problem, not Mo’s’”!

Yet truly, is it really that simple? The fact is, it’s not just the guy sitting next to Mo’s problem, it’s mine too. I don’t want anyone, absolutely anyone to look at my son any differently than they look at me or you. I will simply not stand for anyone who will put my son down for being different and in case you are wondering what I will do faced with a scenario where such an occasion may arise, I have hidden fangs and claws that I will use to protect my precious offspring.

Then again, while I claim to celebrate Mo’s differences, I am also subconsciously and consciously trying to make him fit in with the ‘others’ or the stereotypical and therein lies the paradox and today’s incident, in the bus, made me reflect upon this conundrum. Is it because I myself am not comfortable with Mo being different or is it that I don’t want Mo to get hurt by others? I am going to go with the latter conclusion for truly it is Mo’s differences that make him the adorable bundle of love, simplicity, honesty and purity that he is. I am grateful for the joy as well as the challenges he has brought into my life and my family’s, for he has kept us grounded and thankful and honest. But Mo’s ego is fragile and he is vulnerable. He wants to be like his brothers and cousins and he does not want to be treated any differently. Yet he is different! So then, is there a solution to this paradox?

Indeed, there is and quite simply it is to embrace and accept differences so that they become the norm; so that parents such as myself feel safe in the knowledge that our special children will not be stared at, taken advantage of or thought of as any less than others.

It is Mo’s first day as a drive-thru cashier in McDonald’s tomorrow and I am nervous for him. He is so excited and stressed because working at McDee ’s, as he calls it, was Mo’s dream. Mo’s dream is about to come true but if he fumbles and falters will his dream turn into a nightmare? Will impatient customers be patient and respectful, and will his managers and colleagues treat him with understanding and kindness?

I am sending Mo off tomorrow with the counsel that mistakes are a precursor to learning, hence not to be afraid to make them. But my child is fragile and afraid as he is excited and hopeful. Thus, my counsel will be accompanied by constant prayers for this new stage in Mo’s life that could be a blueprint for his future.

Centering through art

Life changing, earth shattering, epiphenous, dystopian…the past few months have personified one or the other realities for most of us. In order to adapt to the ‘new normal’, we‘ve been shaken out of our comfort zones and have had to let go of recognizable notions of life, involuntarily opening ourselves to the disequilibrium of an unfamiliar future. No one has been spared, we are all in this together. 

The Covid-19 pandemic has impacted us not only at a collective level but also at a deeply personal level, encompassing the entirety of our minds, bodies and souls. Majority of us have had to tap into our innermost resources to cope with our distinct and cumulative realities. Some of us have resorted to familiar practices that have proven beneficial to us in the past, whereas some are venturing into unchartered territories compelled by the need for grounding, mental clarity, and the search for meaning. 

Amongst the multitude of online posts, articles, news headlines, memes, Tik Tok videos and whatever not, there are plenty of tear jerkers, silver liners, doomsday scenarios and comedic reprieves.  However, contemplative moments of silence in these long days of isolation are often laced with nagging thoughts and a heavy knot of anxiety in the pit of the stomach asking ‘what next’?

At times like these, creative expression can come to the rescue. Armed with the magic of art materials that can regulate the anxious brain through texture, rhythm, movement, color and form, art making encompasses the entire range of the human sensory experience. Making art for therapeutic purposes does not require any artistic skills. What is needed is the intention to submit to the inherent quality of an art material and allow it to dictate the process of art making. Also, a creative product should not necessarily be the end goal of the exercise since the process of making art it is at times more important than the product itself.

Different art materials have specific qualities inherent in them that facilitate grounding, emotional regulation and expression. Art psychotherapists are professionals who are trained to harness these qualities in service of their client’s mental well-being and are clinically trained to draw from various psychological theories to to aid reflection and insight into artmaking process and resulting product. Hence, for those are keen to explore artmaking beyond just ‘a therapeutic activity”, it is recommended to see a credentialed art psychotherapist who can take their artmaking to a deeper level where healing and resolution for specific issues can take place.

Whether one chooses to make art at home or in session with an art therapist, there is nothing to stop one from benefitting from art making. Especially nowadays when we are most in need for connection with our inner selves and are required to be grounded more than ever, any kind of art based, creative activity including music, drama, dance and movement is bound to have a favorable outcome. For my part, I highly recommend maintaining an art journal, using any size of sketchbook or loose paper, and two or three basic art materials such as pencils/markers, paints and chalk or oil pastels. Whether skilled at art or not, engage with the material by doodling, smudging, coloring, scribbling and sketching, using brushes, fingers or hands. Making art and tapping into the qualities of art materials will help calm the parasympathetic nervous system which is the regulatory mechanism of the brain that may be in overdrive these days. Creative expression will also tap into the limbic system which is the seat of our emotional brain and give voice to emotions that may not be accessible to words or even our conscious minds.

 PS. Resistive art materials like pens, pencils and markers can be used for repetitive mark making, doodling, scribbling, coloring in, all of which can lessen anxiety. The more fluid mediums such as paint, or the softer, fragile materials like pastels are more emotive in nature and can tap into deep emotional content that may not be accessible to words. The emotionality of paint and heightening of arousal caused by its’ use may be contained by the earthiness of clay which is heavy and malleable.